Ways To "P" People Off

1. Bring a teddy bear to rehearsal, saying that your Teddy bear Foo-Foo will be moving sets with the rest of the crew. Refuse to do any work until Foo-Foo does.

2. Ask if everyone is being paid £75.00 an hour.

3. Become the LX babe. Refuse to do anything other than LX stating that's what's on your call.

4. When asked to come in blacks, show up in sunglasses, black boxers, black combats, a black T-shirt, a black sweatshirt, a black baseball cap with black lettering, black socks, black trainers, a black overcoat, black SAS mask and black gloves. Comment to members of the opposite sex how fortunate you were to have the outfit handy. When they ask why, say something about the police confiscated it after last episode in the park.

5. Say "OOPS" while on headset, then deny that you said anything in a very panicky fashion.

6. Insist that actors/turns pay a fee each time they try to go on-stage.

7. Set fire to the cyc or anything else that looks as if it's not been fire proved see below.

8. Set fire to yourself. (Use with caution)

9. Show up in all white and say that you thought it was opposite day.

10. During intermission, sneak up to the lighting booth and sit yourself down at the light board. Pretend you are Mr. Sulu on the bridge of the starship Enterprise. Answer imaginary orders from Captain Kirk and attempt to send the board to warp factor 6.

11. Get a job working underneath the stage. Insist that everyone call you "Hades, Master of the Underworld."

12. Call/answer cues in pig Latin.

13. Play with the call light/buzzer on the headset and not telling anyone that its you.